he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
