Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i would punch a child for taco bell
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
