No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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