Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
