There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she pinky promised me she was 18
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
