I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
