I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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