Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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