I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
