I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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