I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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