She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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