Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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