I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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