If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
