I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
