He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
