You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
