the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
