I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
