cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
