butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
