shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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