i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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