it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When are your genitals available?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
