If i come over, it means nothing
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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