he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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