Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
