I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
