fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
