Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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