I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
