I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
