he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
