come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm bleeding and have questions
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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