Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
