i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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