A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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