i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
