The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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