is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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