Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
