here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
