I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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