dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My vagina is officially offended.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
