I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
