is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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