it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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