His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
