I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I am never drinking with the goths again.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
