im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
