Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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